Polly Carbs’ (Over-Simplified)*
May 11th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
The story of Polly’s Sensitive Insulin and Blood Sugar/Glucose (a.k.a. Insulin Resistance). It will be a rather interpretive science-behind-the-scenes of carbohydrate consumption.
PART ONE: Healthy Metabolism Person (HMP):
- An HMP eats a single serving of oatmeal with healthy accoutrements: nuts, ‘nana, etc.;
- Their digestion works to break the various foodstuffs into Carbohydrates, Healthy Fats and Protein (nicely balanced in the above meal);
- When the carbohydrate breaks down, glucose is produced and enters the bloodstream;
- The Pancreas releases Insulin which helps the glucose enter the cells to be burned as fuel and give the HMP energy to do things.
Now for…
PART TWO: PCOS Polly + Lonely Carbohydrates (in large quantity) + Insulin Resistance:
- Polly eats an enormous portion of oatmeal without accoutrements (200g+ carbohydrates);
- Her digestion works to break down the mainly-carbohydrate foodstuff. Meaning NO Healthy Fats,and not much Protein;
- When the carbohydrate breaks down, glucose is produced and enters the bloodstream (same);
- Polly’s Pancreas releases Insulin to go ‘friend’ Blood Glucose and usher it into my cells (same reason – to fuel Polly);
- Things begin to go hay-wire….
- Insulin is overwhelmed and becomes too sensitive to boldly go up to the Blood Glucose and ‘friend’ it;
- So it doesn’t. Instead it hangs out in the blood stream too;
- Trying to Be Helpful Pancreas releases yet more Insulin (bc the Blood Glucose is still in my blood-stream);
- Polly now has a busy blood stream: we now have too much Overly-Sensitive Insulin and too much Blood Glucose;
- Repeat steps 6-9;
- Eventually, Blood Glucose gets bored of waiting for Overly-Sensitive Insulin and heads for Pol’s fat stores where it turns into glycogen and hangs out;
- Repeat every day for an extended period of time;
- Polly expands (not upwards) and her PCOS symptoms go crazy…
Hmmm….
poor-insulin-just-look-at-blood-glucose
I feel like a big carb-insulin-blood-sugar lightbulb has gone on. Am I slow to this lightbulb party? Maybe but I haven’t eaten a big bowl of oatmeal since. Nor have I eaten multiple over-sized helpings of anything with a high net carbohydrate gram-age (net = carb grams minus fibre grams). It somehow doesn’t make sense. Never say never – but if/when I do, at least I know what I am in for. So…
Polly’s Day-to-Day Tactics (to encourage a healthier metabolism):
- No Lonely Carbs ever: eat carb-y foods with Healthy Fats and Protein
- Healthy Fats: tsp of coconut oil in the morning; tsp of fish oil too; and nuts, lots of them: cashews, almonds and my #1: Natural Almond Butter. Nuts are super protein/healthy fat power nuggets.
- Protein at every meal (nuts/chicken/turkey/tofu/yog/beans)
- Move sporadically throughout the week (cardio, just walking, some weights, some jogging)
How is that working out for you then, Polly? Well. I’m not going to sugar-coat it people (haha pun); it’s tough to change. Really tough. Not just mentally but physically.
Week One went like this: Ug. Grrrr. Constant Headache. Constant ‘why can’t I have another bowl of oatmeal. That’s poopy. I like oatmeal. I want it. I want it.’ Internally I was stamping my feet with my hands on my hips. I was annoyed. I was irritated. I was also coming off medication and suffering estrogen withdrawals. All of that is to say, NOT a highpoint in Polly land.
Week Two: well the first few days were like Week One. But I was expecting it to be unpleasant. I had a plan. And I succeeded (at least until the end of week 6..). But you know what peeps of shescoops land? Something happened around day 10… …I started to feel better. Strange. That’s neat.
It’s now been over 6 weeks and I am still going strong (and getting physically stronger). I am also feeling healthier (certainly in comparison to the pre- ‘diagnosis day’ times). Living this way is my routine now (I like routines) and it feels straight-forward, doable. Long Term? I’m aiming for something like that – I have my follow-up Doc appt in mid-June – let’s see what the blood work looks like. In the meantime, let’s go for a day at a time. Balance in all things, eh?
Disclaimers: Polly is not a registered dietary/nutritionist/medic etc. This stuff is complex. I know it. If I am advocating anything it is simply this: get information (doctor, interweb, books), listen to it, figure out what resonates/works, find your personal set of health tactics, repeat, adapt, repeat, adapt, repe…
I believe health is personal. I want to find my personal health.
*Could someone confirm if the short version of “carbohydrates” needs an apostrophe. Should it have been “carb’s” in the title? I am bovvered by not knowing that.
Erm. Yup. Eek. Wow. It’s been SIX WEEKS….
May 3rd, 2012 § 2 Comments
Cor Blimey.
It’s been a whopping SIX WEEKS since the P.C.O.S diagnosis (and my last blog post….). I am genuinely shocked. Tempus fugits and all that.
timescoops
In that time, the following has been going on…
HEALTHWISE:
- A revolution of dietary undertakings (with rather neat results)
- I have finally ‘got’ what really happens to my poor internal systems when I eat too much of certain goodies such as Oatmeal; Bread; Hot Cereals – yes – things that are by-and-large ‘carbohydrates.’
- So…
- I have gone ‘low-carb’ on my over-insulin producing pancreas’ a##.
- …..
- Thanks to the ‘trusty’ interweb, I have learned that being a “low carb-er” is taboo/controversial. Who knew? (lots of people).
- Regardless, part of low-carb theory makes sense to me right now. So…
- I have scaled back on bowls 2-5 of my daily oatmeal/wheat farina/oat bran consumption (I will always love you but now that I know about what you are doing to me – I don’t love you quite as irreverently)
- Also scaled back on the bread (walnut bread from the farmer’s market, I loved you; thank you for our time together but you must go now)
- Also too – I have remembered to take my fish oil teaspoon every morning (almost). Vitamin D anyone?
- I have a new-found and surprising love of organic coconut oil (what a wonder, that stuff is)
- I have ‘friended’ natural almond butter (the grind-yourself-at-the-store-in-a-recycled-tub variety)
- I now feel like shouting from the rooftops to my metabolically-challenged sisters/brethren – “it ain’t just about the ‘sugar’ content on that nutrition label – check out that carb grammage, people!” (since it’s basically secret-sugar in a fancy multi-syllabled coating and it ain’t helping your insulin resistance). It’s amazing what a bit of knowledge will do.
- I have a blog post pending entitled: Irony it ain’t: “Healthy” Fats
- And another on my new exercise regimen (imaginatively titled: Michelle Dozois: my Hero of bounce-oriented DVD-ness)
- And finally, (the main part, at least for me…) I feel better. MUCH better.
LAW SCHOOL:
- Erm…. last Thursday was my final First Year Law School exam….
- That means (aside from a 10-week condensed easier-on-the-brain summer schedule and assuming I didn’t screw up the exams – which is not a given by any means) I am done with the FIRST YEAR OF LAW SCHOOL
- I owe so many blog posts to that puppy. wow. yes. much to say. much to catch up on…
- I bought the lawscoops.com domain name with that in mind (yes. correct. there’s nothing there right now….)
I am busting to get more blog posts out into the ether. I have a new style in mind too (well, old verbose style but with an option for those anti-scrollers out there – you know who you are – “we like your style, Polly but come on, enough already with the context.” Or, “we kinda-like your style, Polly but tbh it’s your hubby’s piccies we are in this for”). I know. No worries. That’s cool. We all do what we do, right?
Stay tuned. Or ‘subscribe’ or ‘follow’ me twitter style (if for no other reason that I won’t feel like folks are navigating over here only to be disappointed). I can’t promise daily (or frankly weekly) posts but at least a neat picture sporadically.
Next up…. Polly’s Rendition of the behind-the-scenes science involved in insulin resistance. Poor insulin… It’s just too sensitive.
A Different Polly?
March 18th, 2012 § 2 Comments
Friday, I went to see my super Doc about those aforementioned blood tests results.
Polly: So what’s up with the recent weight gain, skin problems, night sweats, low blood pressure, high insulin and high blood glucose to name a few?
Lovely Super Doc: Well. Poppet, I think it’s time. Given everything we have learned over the last few years, I am willing to put down on paper that you have….… Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).
pollysmysticovarysyndrome
Really? It’s a syndrome, a collection of symptoms that form a diagnosis (absent other things). Sounds vague? For some PCOS-learning-about homework I enjoyed both the US Govs description and the old standby Wikipedia (if it’s bold, you can click).
So, Polly, how do feel about this diagnosis? Surprised?
Not so much. I feel a bit like I have been a ‘PCOS diagnosis in waiting’ for a few years. It explains weight gain; insulin resistance; amenorrhea; etc.. It was mooted about five years ago and so I had an ultrasound to look for any obvious cysts (not that cysts are dis-positive). The specialist only had a clear view of one of the ovaries and since it appeared fine; she said no cysts, no PCOS.
Daunted?
A tiny bit but I have been hoping for a diagnosis. I had a feeling that once I got one and it’s friend, the post-diagnosis ‘plan,’ I would feel a little energized and hopeful. At this point the word ‘cure’ isn’t an option but ‘managing’ certainly is. I have been managing the symptoms without the diagnosis as best I could for years; I reckon I just have better, more focused info now. A game-challenge for me, if you will. And we all know I like a good challenge (if you don’t, check out my “let’s go to Law School idea“…).
So what’s “The Plan”?
THREE months without my estrogen medication; eat no-lonely-carbs diet (protein and carbs; protein and carbs; protein and carbs and healthy fats); no supplements (gotta rule out whether they are having a weird effect on my hormones); keep my normal exercise routine; and see what happens by June…
Oh. The weight gain. Wow. Since I don’t have a set of scales at home; the Doctor-visit weigh-in was something. I’m impressed with myself – a FIFTEEN pound weight gain in just TWO months. For a peanut-sized person (under the 5′ mark) I reckon that’s something. Do I get a prize?
Actually yes, an opportunity to write a mini-note to my younger, unknowing, self (ten years back-ish):
- Polly, be your own health advocate: I rue to this day the fact that I didn’t stand up for myself during that ultrasound; ask to go to the loo so my bladder would stop obscuring the other ovary; and allow the specialist to properly check if for cysts. Lesson learned: self-advocate when your instincts are screaming at you to stand up for yourself. Like I (try hard) to do now.
- Your 90% vegan, veggie, oatmeal, oatbran focused diet is great, Polly but add in some healthy fats. A few tablespoons of almond butter perhaps, or a few walnuts or some fish oil. Every day. Exercise a bit (get the heart-rate up) keep moving but only when your body is feeling OK. Injured? Take a break. Tired? Take a nap. Listen to your bodies cues; it’s pretty smart. AND… take a REST DAY once in while… It’s OK. You won’t get fat overnight.
- Weight gain is not about what other people might think – that does not matter one ounce (pun sort of intended) – it’s about your body and your health. Thanks to this unexplained weight gain – Polly is on the happy receiving end of a PCOS diagnosis. Be healthy, P. Make healthy choices for yourself on your terms (that clothes-are-tight monitoring technique is a pretty good method).
- Curb the evening snacking. Try to get into the habit of giving it three hours post inhaling a food stuff before bed. Again, thanks to this recent upswing in nasty side-effects, my night-eating-carb addiction is in recovery (well, it’s been a few weeks because Polly’s hormones made her suffer from the not-fun side effect of night sweats). Hurrah for night sweats? No. But I am chuffed to have a visceral motivation to put that spoon down if I want a decent night’s sleep.
- It’s OK to plan and its OK to be chuffed with yourself for any mini-achievement you might stumble upon. Right now, I am patting myself on the head for finally getting a clue about my body and being realistic (and fascinated) by it and not depressed and teary-eyed about having to squeeze into those work clothes …
- Relating to #5 – it’s OK to have “a moment” of forgetting you have a clue and getting teary-eyed but remember: just do what you can in all things and take care of yourself.
- Write down how you feel (especially on a good-feeling day) and be sure to re-read it sometimes. It helps. A blog is a good idea…
Am I different today than yesterday with all this info? Maybe. I feel hopeful. Today, at least. That’s neat and it’s my plan to feel hopeful tomorrow and the next day….
End note. I admit there is some fear. Over the last six months, I have come to the realization that Polly’s mental health is inextricably linked to the balancing effect of taking estrogen-from-medication. This fear is tempered by knowing I can always go back to it because I have the OPTION. I like to have OPTIONS over my own medical needs and my own body. In my case, it just so happens that these medicinal needs have a dual function: they provide health-supporting hormones (and probably help me avoid ovarian cancer, weak bones to name a few) and they are also a form of CONTRACEPTION….
Uh-oh….. Polly said the ‘C’ word…..
Like this:
Break Taking 101
March 12th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
i'mback...polly?
My new weekend sked-oo-lick-ey (a.k.a. ‘schedule’):
Polly + standing at her desk-thing + prepping for classes + non-stop ALL DAY SATURDAY + slight encroachment into Sunday for the 5am to (hopefully-done-by) 10am shift.
Last semester (when I was stressed out), I wasn’t so rigid about powering through all day Saturday but getting the bulk over-and-done-with ASAP is very nice and stress-relieving.
My enclosure-filled-weekend-endurance-race actually starts out with a spell in the great outdoors. Once the sun is up, Polly heads out for her weekly run: a roughly 40 minute endeavour that sees one little British woman jog past beaches with their lapping (sometimes crashing) waves, surfers, cyclists, other runners, little people (a.k.a. ‘kids’) with their families, and the odd doggie. Once that endorphin-exploding ‘jog’ has ended, however (at about 7:40am) – I am inside. For the long-haul. A long INDOOR marathon of sorts…
The recent weekend in question got a bit ugly about 3:30pm on Sunday because I was still head deep in case reviews…. What happened to my lovely changed-up schedule allowing for the critical elements of relaxation and fun? Not sure. Polly got carried away. Polly also went a bit loopy.
On the bright side, a key lesson learned…. get outside at least once a day (otherwise, Polly becomes a metaphor of wall-climbing).
Is it the chips or can I blame that ‘H’ word…
March 1st, 2012 § Leave a Comment
‘H’ as in ‘Hormones’
During my tenure as a 1L first semester-er – it went through some estrogen-withdrawal (a.k.a depression). I prefer to not be on western drugs; turns out Polly-without-estrogen-intervention is akin to Polly-with-barely-an-ounce-of-mental-health-balance. So I came back to the WesternDrugFold. I’m taking low-dose estrogen. Have been since November. My experiences both with medicinal intervention and without has been a game of ‘manage the side effects’ – at this point – I’ll take the mildest form of them anyday over the alternatives (e.g. headaches, hot flashes, grumpiness, mental strangeness, etc. versus pretty-severe depression, incapacitating migraines, bone loss, infertility, etc.).
All of that said. I am barely managing to ‘squeeze’ in to my work clothes. Question is, why? I’m still exercising up a storm and eating my low-to-no sugar, healthy fats, lean protein, small-meals-all-the-time diet (diet = what I always do not what I do for a spell and then stop).
I Googled the drug I am on to see what other folks experienced. Turns out odd weight gain is a constant complaint. I then emailed my Dr. (yes! turns out we folks get to use the new technology they call ‘email’ to connect with our Docs and mine is a super-Doc so she responded immediately). She doesn’t think it’s the drugs. Gave good scientific-sounding reasons (I’ve tolerated higher doses of estrogen without weight gain in the past, etc.). I’m going in for some blood tests.
In the meantime, I am left to wonder if maybe I am eating a chunk more than normal (over a few months even small changes can make a difference). I do have a penchant for Trader Joe’s organic tortilla chips…..
plumpscoop
To be continued…. for one thing, I have a Michelle Dozois review coming up ‘poppet I LOVE your style with all that jumping, kickboxing, interval training, DVD-at-home magic).
(oh. And my apologies if you saw a blog post title along the lines of ‘the lawschool hormone dynamic’ – that was weird. Not sure what happened. If it whet your appetites for the blog post that would have followed the title, be sure to tell me otherwise it will forget).
Lost in the Woods?
February 25th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
gretelooscoop
Actually, nope. Not a deeply metaphorical blog title. At times in my life, I have certainly felt a bit lost in a ‘seeing no woods due to all the trees type’ situations. I do have a lot going on right now but I am maintaining a degree of perspective. I can sort of see the metaphorical wood. It’s that turning point I mentioned; I’m sustaining it, apparently. The last couple ‘o’ months with old Polly’s new-found calmer attitude. I’m still making sure to enjoy the things I enjoy (husband, family, friends, Law School, striving for some semblance of a healthy life) and aim to say ‘oh well’ when those pesky ‘out of one’s control’ type things show up.
Thus in this instance – we (almost) literally got lost in the woods during our lunch break at work this week….
The Facts: this week, Thursday I think, Polly had the bright idea to head north for our walk into the ‘upper’ part of the work site where there is a wood with lovely paths to explore. Polly thought she knew everything. Knew the way. Had a plan in her head (if we keep going eventually we will circle back to the start just in time to start our afternoon worky-times).
Turns out she was wrong….. got lost…. got nervous…. had visions of trying to explain to our respective bosses where we had been for three days while the paramedics wrapped us in blankets and administered first-aid.
In the meantime, she could hear her husband, only a few feet behind, doing his best to maintain a sense of calm and confidence that we would make it out (wow, I thought, he is so brave). Eventually, she saw road, shouted ‘road, I see road’ and they made it out in one piece (well two pieces: him = one; Polly = one). 12:57pm we got back to the building. Phew. Polly was relieved.
Turned out that husband’s bravery was genuine confidence that he knew where we were and his calm, almost buoyant, attitude had more to do with HOW she made her way through said woods. As in ‘gingerly picking her way through the undergrowth’ (he later did a physical impression).
In my defense, I was in my work clothes, there were actual logs to duck under, and I was multi-tasking (leading the way, planning a bivouac and formulating the aforementioned excuse to our bosses..).
Husband has been calling me versions of ‘Gretel’ ever since.
It’s been Two Months and Twelve Days…
January 22nd, 2012 § Leave a Comment
….since I have gotten my *&%$ss in gear to scribe taken the time to carefully draft and publish a shescoops post. I shall apologize but only because I am sorry if you have been concerned (or worn your carpet down pacing up and down waiting). We are hanging in there. I do have a new perspective on things. Feel calmer. Enjoying things. Not getting bogged down in poopy things.
Quick housekeeping before I get going again: I am back to including shescoops in my life, not everyday, maybe not every week, but as often as is Polly-ingly-possible. Expect (future) posts to be briefer (law school rubbing off on you, eh?). Not quite. It’s more of wanting to focus on new nugget-sized observations, not just ‘what has Polly self-absorbingly been up to’ stuff. I also have a time problem. Work. Play. School. Food. Exercise. Sleep. Keeps us busy, no? But I enjoy this. I like doing things that are fun. I like musing on things. I usually have something to say (even if it is only to one of my cuddly toys) and I love my husband’s pictures.
Oh, and let me reiterate before you roll your eyes at having to SCROLL DOWN; this will likely be as long a blog post as you are gonna get for the foreseeable future and is entirely for catch-the-shescoopers-up purposes (there are FOUR husband pictures in it for you).
So. These last two months and twelve days….
2011 in a nutshell….
dudee2011
I’m kinda, sorta grateful it’s behind us and we can stick that mark in the sand. It’s been quite a time on a myriad fronts. For so many people I know, love and think about. I turned to my husband recently and said, “I think 2012 might be rather exciting” to which he replied “is that because 2011 was so s&*^%$#t?”
Partly. Can’t lie. But I am an optimist. Call my (a) PollyAnna (but why wouldn’t we call you that? it is your name, hon).
MountFatigue
She scooped it through Semester #1 of Law School (there were a few tears-before-bedtime and she does question her sanity and reasons for attending constantly but she made it. Me and almost all my class-chums). Woo.
capn polly
Spent a lovely couple ‘o’ weeks in England with the family. The time was marked almost in its entirety (when we weren’t eating and giggling at each others silliness) by the stunning, amusing, philosophical, conversation-inspiring, well-acted and thoroughly entertaining Battlestar Gallactica. Box set o-rama (or should it be A-dama…). Didn’t think I would like it. But I did. It ain’t anything like the original series and I have a new swear word.
dudabix
Finally, health-wise, the end of 2011 was a bit of a doozy for both husband and I (and some other lovely people I know, alas). Suffice to say we are sticking on the healthy track and we both have a new (in his case) re- (in my case) found love of those athletic-track shaped cereal biscuits they brandingly call ‘Weetabix.’ It’s one of the most popular breakfast (or anytime, frankly) cereals in England. Pretty much every grocery chain has their own version (I have a penchant for the Co-Op variety and like to destroy their unique shape by using a hot water-soy milk blend that turns it into a claggy mess – just like my Dad does). You can buy them in the US from Trader Joes. We have one down the road. Handy.
Say, if you are a current ‘Wheat Biscuit’ eater, my question of the blog post is for you: because I like a decent sized bowl-full, I genuinely get excited about the last biscuit in the packet because it comes resplendent with extra wheety-dust and fragments of the biscuits that went before it; am I crazy or is this the Wheat-Biscuit-Eater norm?
Like this:
Self-talk. Helpful or not so much?
November 10th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Well I don’t know about you but it’s been a ‘bit of a time.’
Lots’ going on all round.
In husband and Polly land, that would be IN ADDITION TO Polly’s self-induced Law Schooling.
However, today I am feeling optimistic. Feel free to call me PollyAnna. There is a plethora of contrary evidence to weigh us down but not enough to do us in. We can do it! We are Mighty. And the ‘We’ is for anyone who wants some genuine encouragement. At this point, Polly is relying on her wits to get her through and hoping to encourage her fellow class-mates (and general readership) to do likewise.
DAY AT A TIME PEOPLE.
And when in doubt, Polly does this:
wetscoop
That’s likely why I feel calm for the first time in a while (well, since Tuesday when I last went swimming). I am enjoying the zone of post-swim calm. See. Healthy/Fun things are neat. I don’t often believe my own hype. So I will publish this to remind myself: swim, Polly, and encourage others to find their calm-promoting endeavor. To my faithful SheScoops readership: as I front-crawled my way through the water – I decided to write. We need to encourage ourselves.
Polly, take this as a self-serving post (when don’t I?). Even if you are talking to yourself – that is the frickin’ point. I know you don’t really want to; I know your brain comes a little wired to knock yourself down but stop it. Stop it. Stop it. We can do it. Yes we can.
Polly v. Unpreparedness
October 22nd, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I know. You don’t need to say anything. I am sorry. I am back. I am fine. We are fine (the ‘Royal We’).
Polly v. Unpreparedness (Cal, Law School Week 10, October 2011)
FACTS: Wednesday night, P (for Polly not Plaintiff) showed up to her thri-weekly Legal Writing class relatively unprepared (reading done but writing out the homework assignment just ‘didn’t happen’ for myriad reasons but since we always discussed them in class, I was only marginally concerned about the lack of prep). Thus hoping to ‘wing it’ on the homework; I showed up to learn that we had been asked last time to write up, print out and turn in, the assignment. What the?! Where was I when that was decreed? Oh. In the room, apparently. Just spaced it. What a horrible feeling enveloped me. I was tired. I was overwhelmed and the camel’s proverbial back had a piece of straw dangerously near. I apologized to our lovely instructor who didn’t seem overly concerned, but still, I felt like a silly head. It stressed Polly out.
ISSUE: in moments of stress relating to breaches of one’s personal responsibilities; how should one react? Choice between: 1) giggling, genuinely apologetic, humour-filled ‘oh well’s or; 2) abject panic?
RULE: it’s much healthier to be effected by the jester of reality-based humour than it is to succumb to the tears-before-bedtime approach.
HOLDING: On Wednesday, I nearly cried. Overwhelm encroached and I was seemingly defenseless. By the end of class, I had had an epiphany. Do what you can do, Polly; be honest when you stumble, but maintain the humour.
REASONS/POLICIES: suffice to say that I was tested on my new theory on Thursday night when I arrived at my Criminal Law class to discover we were to do an ‘essay test’ question on homicide. Having spent that weeks’ Crim Law reading times preparing to be one of the ‘student’s of the night’ on the topics of Battery and Assault; I had not given time to getting the special nuggets of 1st Degree, 2nd Degree, and Manslaughter concepts cemented in the noggin. Taking my lead from the previous night’s debacle; I saw the humour. What can you do, eh?
laughclownlaugh
It’s about Perspective, Polly…
September 20th, 2011 § 3 Comments
Well, I feel like I have had a giant ‘Life Lesson’ smashed into my big head these last few weeks. Struggling to admit it’s taken me thirty-three years to get it, too.
I was getting overwhelmed. Simultaneously, I had got annoyed with my tendency toward self-absorption. It involved a mini-identity crisis prompted by the addition of ‘Law Student’ to the myriad other identities I find myself with: Polly, Anna, Polly M., Pol, Budget Analyst, writer, collector of cute-smiley (and preferably squashy) cuddly toys…. No doubt this frustration with the ‘me me me’ partly explains my lack of blog-post updates (it is a self-focused blog, Polly, self-absorption is par for the course). Regardless, I realized that until now, I have had too much time in my own head. That leads to problems.
Since Law School, however, I have had to pick and choose my thought-streams. I just have no time, no time to obsess. That has to be for the best, me thinks.
Consider context, Polly. Indeed.
Globally-speaking, since I last wrote, we have seen hurricanes and earthquakes; the anniversary of nine-eleven; ongoing global financial drama; wars; and so much more. On the home front: health concerns (family/friends); six weeks of Law School (I love it, in case you were wondering); a Polly birthday (yippee!); a lot of oatmeal-eating; and plenty of the normal-yet-lovely day-to-day stuff.
With all these elements floating around; I undertook a big shift in my daily machinations. I don’t have time to consider everything at once. Stuff goes on out there in the world (beautiful and ugly); stuff goes on closer to home too. The world turns, as they say. So, on a small level, I have figured out some stuff (principally: be silly as much of the time as possible); and on a bigger level, I shall remember my placement on the planet in context (e.g. one human, among billions more, existing in our natural world with all the other bugs, creatures, plants, weather patterns, planets, etc..).
It’s about perspective, Polly.
Right oh: Planet, Family, Friends, Cuddly Toys, (not necessarily in that order). Got it. That’s neat….. I’m focusing….
shefocuses
